Mean, Median and Me

I’ve always been an average Joe, you could call me an average Arun, considering the we have one Arun thriving in every square mile. I may rise above, I may descend down, but I eventually get back to the average position, the straight sweet line which you use for reference. It’s like a sinusoidal wave; a trough and a crest and in between I rest.

The idea being am always the guy who took pride in this comfy equilibrium position. The fulcrum looking at the extremes see-sawing in a detached amusement and amused detachment. You could call me the 80% guy. While 95% made me insecure and shy, 70% embarrassed me and again shy. And when I get the 80 am like, yeah baby, that’s me.

‘The nothing spectacular about me, and hey wait am not that bad as well’ is a mode of living I would advocate for majority of my people. Amidst the people in pursuit of the trophy and the ones who play the role of the weakling and get kicked out of the first round, the average joe gets to the finals and smiles and applauds the winner, even semi final would do. Heck even quarterfinal would. Let the achievers make the big money, I’ll read about in the papers and make funny comment about how you need to pay more taxes.. or take it in another tangent and talk about how we get obsessed with tangibles like money ahead of intangibles like camaraderie and peace.

In my 14 years of school education, that I completed 7 years back, countless would have been the times I scored the 10^th rank. It happened like a rule. No matter what the class strength was, Arun gets the 10^th rank. I took pride in this specific rank, Sachin had 10 written in his t shirt. I reflect with pride. And also the 10^th rank guy is the sort of guy who is the potential, he never poses a threat to anyone but he has the potential you know.

I guess the trend still seems to be continuing, the threshold of the average has gone up. You could call me the 85% guy, but my boss still wonders “why the hell is this guy not doing better”, “he isn’t proactive” “too laidback” “he wants to run home””too much time passing”.”gives too much gyan” “he is in his own bloody world”. yes sir! I am all that, I agree and that’s why you gave the not too satisfying appraisal. And hey I was merely sticking to my 80% rulebook ;)

Mak

Music as i understand..

The new Ipod nano coming into my life has been a welcome change. The old one, a cute white shuffle, gifted by the sweet lady in love was hardly used thanks to that missing charger cable. But the new one, a video nano, which I got as a prize, she is a beauty! And it has revived my musical sense. Such cool mp3 players sing to your soul. They find their way through your cochlea and strike a chord with the sinews of the heart.

And lemme confess am no expert in assessing music, but given the ear, cochlea and the heart and ofcourse the ipod, I thought I would explain what I think about music and also raise my grouse against the music composers of today.

Music like anything else has beginning, middle and an end. But our composers hardly seem to care beyond the first stanza, They give the song a sehwag like start. And then midway the song squeaks and merely leads to the end, which again yawns and stops.

Let me give you a recent example, am just returning from this movie love aaj kal, decent attempt I should say.(Deepika! Deepika!), but what stayed on my mind and lingered long after the movie got over was this song, “Yeh Duriyaan”. I like the way the singer in sadness serenades the initial lines and hopefully says “Fanah ho sabhi dhuriyaan”. Wow! I liked that line. I run back to my laptop. Download the song. Load it onto the ipod and here I am listening to it.

The song begins with a stylish whistle, and the nice bit I mentioned earlier. Now what happened! I suddenly feel too many unnecessary instruments coming into the composition. Like a sudden symphony kind of an arrangement and then from nowhere a peppy flute for a pretty long time towards the end (this bit reminds me of some song of rahman) and to make things worse few carol singers yelling something in english, Come on! where is the connection. “There is no flow in this presentation” An angry boss would have exploded and laid you off. All these pieces make sense separately, but together, No! This is manipulation. It’s a commercial hit riding on a beautiful start.

I think many Hindi songs follow this trend, Tamil songs too. Harris and Yuvan, Awesome start and that’s that. I guess that’s what software music can achieve. The composer can layer in a lot of instruments and is too absorbed in showing it off. Doesn’t every carnatic raga have a beginning, middle and end. So would Hindustani or classical I presume.

And then there are songs like Saawariya from Swades, a normal low profile start, but the way it builds up, Gayathri Joshi seems to be liking Sharukh more with every line, Woah! the second stanza is better than the first and the final one just took me to another plane..“Jabse mili sajna, tujhse najariya”, nobody can sing those lines with their eyes open, she must have sure prepared herself for this late onslaught!, what a song, Who is this singer? Alga Yagnik?

I think Illayaraja orchestrates the better compositions. I just finished with “Mandram Vandha” from Mouna Raagam and “Kaadhalin Deepam Ondru” from Thambiki endha ooru (yes the one where superstar walks and sings)

Each song has a life, one line leading to the other, I, the listener, am waiting for the next line am actually looking forward to it. Music ought to be a mere facilitator in the entire scheme of things .

I cant remember the second stanzas from Rahman’s ghajini songs or his compositions for Shankar movies (I like uppu karuvaadu and yen vittu thotathil!), but do clearly remember the middle and end portion of Kadhal Rojave, Pachai Nirame or Kannamoochi yenada. While the former is merely notice worthy, the others engage you all through.

Ok next song please…!

Mak

flop blog :-(

This blog of mine is a flop. When the total number of views is mere 43 of which I am pretty sure my contribution is 30, you ought to realise we are dealing with a waste of the internet space here. I won’t be surprised today if I get a 5 day notice to stop this jibber from blogspot.com. Give me one more weeks time please, I will vacate with my family and the bed bugs too.

One reason I could attribute to this disaster is a problem I often find fight myself with of late. Its called ‘Lack of identity’. Identity Crisis. Ok the root cause for this mild dissatisfaction goes like this,… you visualize yourself to be a certain someone, a cool person with a certain sensitivity and joie de vivre perhaps..you expect your life to follow a certain path.. that kind of path with lots of nice flower gardens in your pathway.. meeting pleasant people.. Smiles..Camaraderie.. you want to be appreciated and celebrated for just being the average joe..but all that ever happens is the contrary. You are ready to be patient, willing to be optimistic.. and you find there is no purpose in being so. You are out of fuel.

Not that life throws a sudden shock at you. No Sir, its not an event.. It’s a process. The daily routine conquers you… your learning ceases, Stress of the personal and work. Your smile wanes. Mind is occupied with eternal problems. You consume alcohol because she tastes good and growns on you. Hangover irritates. You are caught in a bloody routine called the present.

Look at my earlier posts for instance, they are not funny, but, definitely trying to be funny (which irks the reader more) They are neither informative nor intelligent. They are trying to convey something but unable to because of certain lack of something. A Soul perhaps.That’s the same quandary am facing too.. lack of a soul.

I am too preoccupied with this blasted routine that I have no time to listen to my conscience.

A Change perhaps is the need of the hour, to retain the glory of the past , by glory I mean,.. To observe the normal with amusement, to give room to more perspectives, and not to kill the young chap in you..

Arun

An evening at the Movies..

PVR, Phoenix Mills is awesome. Even a stupid movie in those huge recliners would make the overall experience nice. I saw the recent fast & furious there and slept comfortably. And, with this assurance in the back of my mind, I decided to go for the Star Trek. I have never followed the TV series or ever been a sci-fi fan. ET and Hitch Hikers to the Guide to the Galaxy were my only exposures to the outside world. The world where people flew as they drove Space ships and had big ears attached to large heads. I generally prefer normal humans going about their lives kind of movies. Some action, some comedy, some romance and item numbers don’t hurt too.

Anyways, I liked Star Trek. It was spectacular I thought. They managed to absorb this cynic into their movie. Tremendous achievement. I would rate it next to Wall-E and Dark Knight in the recent favorites. Everything was correct about the movie. Script, VFX or the message. The Climax was not powerful, but that’s cos they raised the expectations for a splendid one. Its like how a cricketer scores 100 in all the league games and screws it up in the finals. You shouldn’t blame him.

There was a particular scene I liked in Star trek, where Spark meets himself in the future. I was amused. The Older (and Wiser) Spark tells the young Vulcan that using logic was not the only way to take decisions, and that instincts and emotion should guide you or something to that effect. Profound thought, indeed. But what amused me more was the idea of meeting oneself in future. Meeting oneself in his past.

What would you tell yourself if you met your younger version 50 years from now? Today, What would I tell the Arun in school? What would I tell the Arun in College? The choices we made or the lessons I learnt.

Guess the pace, at which the present moment is taking us, we would sure reach the future speedier than our parents did. Maybe the difference being we are running, while our folks took a stroll. Before we realize we would be a bunch of oldies who had forgotten the simple things, done with the rat race and maybe running alone in each ones tracks.
I really would want to meet myself in the future. Would I be bald then?

These were the thoughts running in my mind as I returned from High Street Phoenix, Came back home to see England lost to Netherlands. Love it when England lose. I slept in peace.

Wonder Years

The Final words  of Kevin in the last episode of "The Wonder Years"....

Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers, the next day you're gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house, like a lot of houses. A yard like a lot of other yards. On a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back...with wonder.

The Accidental Workaholic

The Accidental Workaholic

Solitude, like, being caught in a group of non-like people… is a painful experience. 

Especially, when you sit alone and don’t feel too good about yourselves. Guilt of this and that.. be it unfinished work, things to do(like gyming, walk, write,.. ), books to read, .. and then this perpetual dissatisfaction of what am I doing to shape my future? Mind cant stop torturing the soul. But at the end of each of these introspective ‘atyaachar’ sessions, comes a fine conclusion to justify it all .. I have No Time. I cant do anything as a result. Thus the mind consoles the soul.

Why No Time? Work ate into it. All of it.

I never liked to work. My mind thought of all possibilities to avoid work. I invented reasons, short cuts and excuses. That’s how I have always lived. I worked to avoid embarrassment. For nothing else.  Always thought a person who took pride in how hard he worked was an idiot. My friends reflected this philosophy so life was good. With great laziness comes great pride. If all of us were lazy, Recsession would have never happened.

But then as College got over and I joined my Job. It was a Dream Job considering I dreamt of working here at one point of time. But then, In the dream I had like Sir Luther King, I never knew I had to put in hours and hours of night outs (à avoiding sleep à end of dreaming).. Its fun no doubt. All those charts and excel sheets and presentations. Every presentation is like a iece of art to me (till its reviewed by the superiors and every centimeter is changed) .

 The worst thing to happen to a not-so-self-assured man is flattery. Problem with flattery is.. it brings in some sort of assurance. “Good Job Arun!”, “Nice Presentation” or “Don’t worry, Arun, will finish this by tomorrow morning and send it across to you”.. those blasted smartly coined blend of words from your boss or when the client calls and says “We are going to decide our future with XXX based on your insights”.. You end up working to satisfy them. Flattery was one major reason I am all flab around my abdomen area today.

Imagine when you don’t get flattery and all you need to do is to prove yourself to some jack who is no-one to judge you but ends up cos like those MBA concepts conclude Customer is the King … and that kind of work, my friend, is the worst kind of work to do. Trust me. Thankless.

Am sure, Success has little co-relation with the amount of work you put in. What the hell is success anyway? Isnt it something you define?  Why should work come into the picture???.. uh.. let me keep this for another blog..

But here are few lines from the primary school yet most poignant poetry ever written called Leisure by WH Davis. I used to relate to this even in 4th standard. Guess few things never change.

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

(and it ends like this…)

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.”

What a visionary philosopher WH Davis was…

Arun

My Second Post is dedicated to AR Rahman.

My Second Post is dedicated to AR Rahman.

I write this with a sense of ownership. It’s like I have stakes in that golden globe they gave him. I look around proudly with an angelic look of “I knew it always, sir. Long before some jury”. I knew this man who I affectionately called Thallaivar (Tamil for ‘The Super Leader’) would grace the rest of the world with his tunes some day, someway.

Slumdog millionaire was an ordinary album for Rahman’s standards. Smart Publicity, Marketing Money and resulting hype the Brits/US people gave to this movie made it a contemporary classic and Rahman known to the world. But Hell, He has wasted his brilliance in atrocious movies like ‘Parthale Paravasam’ ‘Yuvraaj’ and ‘Taj Mahal’.. Its only Poetic Justice he gets an award for Slumdog. And I am not complaining.

I recollect say till some 7 years back, I used to enquire the friendly cassettes shopkeeper on when Rahman’s next tape was releasing. Rahman regularly composed for movies directed by Mani Ratnam, Baradhiraja, Rajiv Menon, Shankar and few Bollywood movies too. Being the earliest to get Rahman’s tape and to hum the new tunes before my friends did, was how I prided in being the Rahman Fan.
But today, thanks to the MP3 format, cheaper storage devices, broadband internet and apple ipods, everybody seem to be listening to the tunes before I do and distributing it freely around. It irks me. But then am not complaining.

Now I cant tell you what my top 5 Rahman songs are, I simply cant. Unless some Mathematician proves 5 = 1000 and gets a Nobel for his study. Its improbable and silly, I mean.

But then what I can tell you is Rahman is brilliant when his songs have a depth and melancholy about them. Rahman’s music is as true as lost love. When the love’s lost and all that lingers is her memories.. Like Anbe Sugama in Parthale Paravasame, Poongatrile/Ae Ajnabee in Uyire/Dil se, En Kaadhale (Duet)… This brand of music is what only Rahman can do. The songs will take you to a level which my written English cant explain. Neither yours.

He has charmed me with Pachai Nirame (Alaipauthey), Smayie (Kandukondein), Strawberry Pennae (Minsara Kanavu), Madhuriaku Pogadhadi(ATM), Yuhin Chala (Swades), Dating (Boys) And hey the recent Masakalli too… Something in these tunes relaxes you. You tell yourself World is not a bad place afterall.
His Sufi-like compositions in Kwaja(Jodhaa Akbar), Arziyaan(Delhi 6) or Chanda Suraj(Vande Mataram) talk to you at a spiritual  level... There might be better composers in each genre, Illayaraja does better melody, His pauses are more intelligent than Rahman's..There are better Sufi composers.. Nusrat Fatehs of the world..but Rahman composes all genres of music in its essence making him a true musician.

 
Adding to the Rahman Special playlist.., Who can forget his love songs...His numerous solo and duet love songs.. like Sonaalum Ketpadhulai(Kadhal Virus), Adhisayam(Jeans), Telephone Manipol (Indian) ..which make you blush like that yahoo smiley.. and end up making a romeo out of you...as sing to your girl friend, only to be told “Stop it and don’t create such noise”.. “Huh” my repartee comes..“Am sorry madame, I am an audience who has stakes with Rahman, I am not his singer, lyricist or piano player.. Am his audience. The Most blest of em all.”. Period.

Rahman, like Sachin, has left a huge impression in the generation that I grew up and growing in. They are common Indian Man's stress buster .  Its exciting to think I’ll tell the future what glorious tunes, Rehman treated me to.

MAK

PS: Hope he wins the Oscar, though it really doesnt matter.