flop blog :-(

This blog of mine is a flop. When the total number of views is mere 43 of which I am pretty sure my contribution is 30, you ought to realise we are dealing with a waste of the internet space here. I won’t be surprised today if I get a 5 day notice to stop this jibber from blogspot.com. Give me one more weeks time please, I will vacate with my family and the bed bugs too.

One reason I could attribute to this disaster is a problem I often find fight myself with of late. Its called ‘Lack of identity’. Identity Crisis. Ok the root cause for this mild dissatisfaction goes like this,… you visualize yourself to be a certain someone, a cool person with a certain sensitivity and joie de vivre perhaps..you expect your life to follow a certain path.. that kind of path with lots of nice flower gardens in your pathway.. meeting pleasant people.. Smiles..Camaraderie.. you want to be appreciated and celebrated for just being the average joe..but all that ever happens is the contrary. You are ready to be patient, willing to be optimistic.. and you find there is no purpose in being so. You are out of fuel.

Not that life throws a sudden shock at you. No Sir, its not an event.. It’s a process. The daily routine conquers you… your learning ceases, Stress of the personal and work. Your smile wanes. Mind is occupied with eternal problems. You consume alcohol because she tastes good and growns on you. Hangover irritates. You are caught in a bloody routine called the present.

Look at my earlier posts for instance, they are not funny, but, definitely trying to be funny (which irks the reader more) They are neither informative nor intelligent. They are trying to convey something but unable to because of certain lack of something. A Soul perhaps.That’s the same quandary am facing too.. lack of a soul.

I am too preoccupied with this blasted routine that I have no time to listen to my conscience.

A Change perhaps is the need of the hour, to retain the glory of the past , by glory I mean,.. To observe the normal with amusement, to give room to more perspectives, and not to kill the young chap in you..

Arun

An evening at the Movies..

PVR, Phoenix Mills is awesome. Even a stupid movie in those huge recliners would make the overall experience nice. I saw the recent fast & furious there and slept comfortably. And, with this assurance in the back of my mind, I decided to go for the Star Trek. I have never followed the TV series or ever been a sci-fi fan. ET and Hitch Hikers to the Guide to the Galaxy were my only exposures to the outside world. The world where people flew as they drove Space ships and had big ears attached to large heads. I generally prefer normal humans going about their lives kind of movies. Some action, some comedy, some romance and item numbers don’t hurt too.

Anyways, I liked Star Trek. It was spectacular I thought. They managed to absorb this cynic into their movie. Tremendous achievement. I would rate it next to Wall-E and Dark Knight in the recent favorites. Everything was correct about the movie. Script, VFX or the message. The Climax was not powerful, but that’s cos they raised the expectations for a splendid one. Its like how a cricketer scores 100 in all the league games and screws it up in the finals. You shouldn’t blame him.

There was a particular scene I liked in Star trek, where Spark meets himself in the future. I was amused. The Older (and Wiser) Spark tells the young Vulcan that using logic was not the only way to take decisions, and that instincts and emotion should guide you or something to that effect. Profound thought, indeed. But what amused me more was the idea of meeting oneself in future. Meeting oneself in his past.

What would you tell yourself if you met your younger version 50 years from now? Today, What would I tell the Arun in school? What would I tell the Arun in College? The choices we made or the lessons I learnt.

Guess the pace, at which the present moment is taking us, we would sure reach the future speedier than our parents did. Maybe the difference being we are running, while our folks took a stroll. Before we realize we would be a bunch of oldies who had forgotten the simple things, done with the rat race and maybe running alone in each ones tracks.
I really would want to meet myself in the future. Would I be bald then?

These were the thoughts running in my mind as I returned from High Street Phoenix, Came back home to see England lost to Netherlands. Love it when England lose. I slept in peace.

Wonder Years

The Final words  of Kevin in the last episode of "The Wonder Years"....

Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers, the next day you're gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house, like a lot of houses. A yard like a lot of other yards. On a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back...with wonder.

The Accidental Workaholic

The Accidental Workaholic

Solitude, like, being caught in a group of non-like people… is a painful experience. 

Especially, when you sit alone and don’t feel too good about yourselves. Guilt of this and that.. be it unfinished work, things to do(like gyming, walk, write,.. ), books to read, .. and then this perpetual dissatisfaction of what am I doing to shape my future? Mind cant stop torturing the soul. But at the end of each of these introspective ‘atyaachar’ sessions, comes a fine conclusion to justify it all .. I have No Time. I cant do anything as a result. Thus the mind consoles the soul.

Why No Time? Work ate into it. All of it.

I never liked to work. My mind thought of all possibilities to avoid work. I invented reasons, short cuts and excuses. That’s how I have always lived. I worked to avoid embarrassment. For nothing else.  Always thought a person who took pride in how hard he worked was an idiot. My friends reflected this philosophy so life was good. With great laziness comes great pride. If all of us were lazy, Recsession would have never happened.

But then as College got over and I joined my Job. It was a Dream Job considering I dreamt of working here at one point of time. But then, In the dream I had like Sir Luther King, I never knew I had to put in hours and hours of night outs (à avoiding sleep à end of dreaming).. Its fun no doubt. All those charts and excel sheets and presentations. Every presentation is like a iece of art to me (till its reviewed by the superiors and every centimeter is changed) .

 The worst thing to happen to a not-so-self-assured man is flattery. Problem with flattery is.. it brings in some sort of assurance. “Good Job Arun!”, “Nice Presentation” or “Don’t worry, Arun, will finish this by tomorrow morning and send it across to you”.. those blasted smartly coined blend of words from your boss or when the client calls and says “We are going to decide our future with XXX based on your insights”.. You end up working to satisfy them. Flattery was one major reason I am all flab around my abdomen area today.

Imagine when you don’t get flattery and all you need to do is to prove yourself to some jack who is no-one to judge you but ends up cos like those MBA concepts conclude Customer is the King … and that kind of work, my friend, is the worst kind of work to do. Trust me. Thankless.

Am sure, Success has little co-relation with the amount of work you put in. What the hell is success anyway? Isnt it something you define?  Why should work come into the picture???.. uh.. let me keep this for another blog..

But here are few lines from the primary school yet most poignant poetry ever written called Leisure by WH Davis. I used to relate to this even in 4th standard. Guess few things never change.

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

(and it ends like this…)

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.”

What a visionary philosopher WH Davis was…

Arun

My Second Post is dedicated to AR Rahman.

My Second Post is dedicated to AR Rahman.

I write this with a sense of ownership. It’s like I have stakes in that golden globe they gave him. I look around proudly with an angelic look of “I knew it always, sir. Long before some jury”. I knew this man who I affectionately called Thallaivar (Tamil for ‘The Super Leader’) would grace the rest of the world with his tunes some day, someway.

Slumdog millionaire was an ordinary album for Rahman’s standards. Smart Publicity, Marketing Money and resulting hype the Brits/US people gave to this movie made it a contemporary classic and Rahman known to the world. But Hell, He has wasted his brilliance in atrocious movies like ‘Parthale Paravasam’ ‘Yuvraaj’ and ‘Taj Mahal’.. Its only Poetic Justice he gets an award for Slumdog. And I am not complaining.

I recollect say till some 7 years back, I used to enquire the friendly cassettes shopkeeper on when Rahman’s next tape was releasing. Rahman regularly composed for movies directed by Mani Ratnam, Baradhiraja, Rajiv Menon, Shankar and few Bollywood movies too. Being the earliest to get Rahman’s tape and to hum the new tunes before my friends did, was how I prided in being the Rahman Fan.
But today, thanks to the MP3 format, cheaper storage devices, broadband internet and apple ipods, everybody seem to be listening to the tunes before I do and distributing it freely around. It irks me. But then am not complaining.

Now I cant tell you what my top 5 Rahman songs are, I simply cant. Unless some Mathematician proves 5 = 1000 and gets a Nobel for his study. Its improbable and silly, I mean.

But then what I can tell you is Rahman is brilliant when his songs have a depth and melancholy about them. Rahman’s music is as true as lost love. When the love’s lost and all that lingers is her memories.. Like Anbe Sugama in Parthale Paravasame, Poongatrile/Ae Ajnabee in Uyire/Dil se, En Kaadhale (Duet)… This brand of music is what only Rahman can do. The songs will take you to a level which my written English cant explain. Neither yours.

He has charmed me with Pachai Nirame (Alaipauthey), Smayie (Kandukondein), Strawberry Pennae (Minsara Kanavu), Madhuriaku Pogadhadi(ATM), Yuhin Chala (Swades), Dating (Boys) And hey the recent Masakalli too… Something in these tunes relaxes you. You tell yourself World is not a bad place afterall.
His Sufi-like compositions in Kwaja(Jodhaa Akbar), Arziyaan(Delhi 6) or Chanda Suraj(Vande Mataram) talk to you at a spiritual  level... There might be better composers in each genre, Illayaraja does better melody, His pauses are more intelligent than Rahman's..There are better Sufi composers.. Nusrat Fatehs of the world..but Rahman composes all genres of music in its essence making him a true musician.

 
Adding to the Rahman Special playlist.., Who can forget his love songs...His numerous solo and duet love songs.. like Sonaalum Ketpadhulai(Kadhal Virus), Adhisayam(Jeans), Telephone Manipol (Indian) ..which make you blush like that yahoo smiley.. and end up making a romeo out of you...as sing to your girl friend, only to be told “Stop it and don’t create such noise”.. “Huh” my repartee comes..“Am sorry madame, I am an audience who has stakes with Rahman, I am not his singer, lyricist or piano player.. Am his audience. The Most blest of em all.”. Period.

Rahman, like Sachin, has left a huge impression in the generation that I grew up and growing in. They are common Indian Man's stress buster .  Its exciting to think I’ll tell the future what glorious tunes, Rehman treated me to.

MAK

PS: Hope he wins the Oscar, though it really doesnt matter.

The Blog Begins

The day had to come. Even Procrastination deserves an end, like everything else.I have started typing the blog. Yay!

 My earlier blog at blogsource, which I wrote with greedy enthusiasm hoping for more and more comments, was shut down last year, and I haven’t written since. Blame it on work, bouts of brain inactivity and laziness like mentioned earlier…

 All writing, meanwhile, I have been doing is in the summary slides of  power point presentations, carefully crafted emails explaining why the clients TRPs went down …oh I forgot project proposals and analysis plans. The creativity and artistic freedom involved in the above activities is tragically nothing. Zilch. I am hoping to break free.. Kinda Hoping!

 There is so much to write when you think of it. Mumbai Terror Attacks,Global Recession, Indian Lay Offs, Indian Cricket…Of course I will write about them. Afterall, how tough is it going to be complaining the system and pointing out to audience that problem is with the fundementals of our society. Simple.

  But currently I am going to be happy with the fact that I have begun and pat myself for“A Hard Day’s Night”.. :J