The Accidental Workaholic

The Accidental Workaholic

Solitude, like, being caught in a group of non-like people… is a painful experience. 

Especially, when you sit alone and don’t feel too good about yourselves. Guilt of this and that.. be it unfinished work, things to do(like gyming, walk, write,.. ), books to read, .. and then this perpetual dissatisfaction of what am I doing to shape my future? Mind cant stop torturing the soul. But at the end of each of these introspective ‘atyaachar’ sessions, comes a fine conclusion to justify it all .. I have No Time. I cant do anything as a result. Thus the mind consoles the soul.

Why No Time? Work ate into it. All of it.

I never liked to work. My mind thought of all possibilities to avoid work. I invented reasons, short cuts and excuses. That’s how I have always lived. I worked to avoid embarrassment. For nothing else.  Always thought a person who took pride in how hard he worked was an idiot. My friends reflected this philosophy so life was good. With great laziness comes great pride. If all of us were lazy, Recsession would have never happened.

But then as College got over and I joined my Job. It was a Dream Job considering I dreamt of working here at one point of time. But then, In the dream I had like Sir Luther King, I never knew I had to put in hours and hours of night outs (à avoiding sleep à end of dreaming).. Its fun no doubt. All those charts and excel sheets and presentations. Every presentation is like a iece of art to me (till its reviewed by the superiors and every centimeter is changed) .

 The worst thing to happen to a not-so-self-assured man is flattery. Problem with flattery is.. it brings in some sort of assurance. “Good Job Arun!”, “Nice Presentation” or “Don’t worry, Arun, will finish this by tomorrow morning and send it across to you”.. those blasted smartly coined blend of words from your boss or when the client calls and says “We are going to decide our future with XXX based on your insights”.. You end up working to satisfy them. Flattery was one major reason I am all flab around my abdomen area today.

Imagine when you don’t get flattery and all you need to do is to prove yourself to some jack who is no-one to judge you but ends up cos like those MBA concepts conclude Customer is the King … and that kind of work, my friend, is the worst kind of work to do. Trust me. Thankless.

Am sure, Success has little co-relation with the amount of work you put in. What the hell is success anyway? Isnt it something you define?  Why should work come into the picture???.. uh.. let me keep this for another blog..

But here are few lines from the primary school yet most poignant poetry ever written called Leisure by WH Davis. I used to relate to this even in 4th standard. Guess few things never change.

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

(and it ends like this…)

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.”

What a visionary philosopher WH Davis was…

Arun