Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Electric 'Bahu'

Life was lifeless. It was all black and white with dead trees and desolate buildings. There was a sense of desperation in the Meghdoot building near Shivaji park area. All the hard earned money was being wasted into the elusive something that digested in 2 hours and got flushed the next morning. The wallet was getting lighter as the tummy got plumpier taking in another bout of unhealthy yet expensive restaurant food.

Bruised with the 80 buck Veg Biryani and battered by the 70 buck Dal Kichdi, the meek and the weak finally revolted. Enough was Enough! A decision had to be made! We couldn’t get wives, or cooks, for the egg headed land lady said “You cannot keep gas/burner in my meghdoot building and yeah no girls allowed.” So we finally went to Chroma, High Street Phoenix, Lower Parel, and asked the smothering servicing chap “Can you show us the electric cooker?”

We looked at the Cookers at Chroma and decided we would check out Big Bazaar before we made the big decision, Chroma is a big ticket place and they keep pen drives and ear phones in the cash counter like how your ‘khiranna’ shops kept Alpenlibele and how cigarette shops kept halls/peppermint. In short, they are high end, expensive and ‘its always wise to go to big bazaar and check out prices there once’ we reflected.

So the busy Big Bazaar lady showed us the cooker brands,

She : “Panasonic Rs 3500 it can boil vegetables too”

We: “No, Something Cheaper Next”

She: “Morphy Richards 3000, it comes with warantee”

We: “No. What kind of name is Morphy Richards? Next Please”

She: “ Bajaj, Philps all 2500 Range, am sure this is the kind you are looking for ”

We: “Anything Cheaper?, How about this one???” we pointed at a cute looking puppy cooker, which definitely looked at us with an affection and that vulnerable look which sang, “take me home with thee, O master”

We: How much is she?

She: “Its Koryo. Its 899 bucks”

899 bucks, our eyes popped out with a delightful glint, “And why? Is it bad?”

“No Sir, its a Chinese brand” he said

Now, not all Chinese brands are not trustworthy, Chinese are masters of Rice making. People from there have made rice for centuries and have created Bruce Lees and Jackie Chans. Koryo sounds like Chinese for awesomeness and attractiveness (kung fu panda style). Look at Morphy Richards, sounds so british, what are the Englishmen good for? Nothing? Interestingly, Have you heard of Britanian cuisine like Italian or Mexican or Indian. I, for once had an English Breakfast in Leela palace Bangalore and all they gave me was some bread and tea and muffins. And they charged a fortune for it. Phoney. Like Morphy Richards. Like British. Go Koryo Go!

So anyways, we packed this little bahu and brought her home.

She cooked Rice. Tirelessly. And yet with a smile. You could sense it. All I had to do is mix the rice with all sorts of readmade mixes and powder my mom had armed me with. I am saving money. Load of ‘em. Mr. Buffet, Here I come with my white rice for your last buffet supper.

Korya made Steamed Corn. She made boiled peanuts (it’s a south Indian delicacy where you add salt and whole groundut with the shell and result tastes like magic). She made Hot Rasam (MTR Rasam Mix). Just a matter of ratio proportion. Korya did it all.

She made Pop Corn too, now our chakna (side dish for alcohol) problem is over too. Koryo, indeed is that Bahu who can solve any problem and run the daily soap for 3 years with high trps… sob sob

So here is my small tribute to Koryo. You thing of beauty, you are my joy forever! Muah!



Poornima said...

I likes :):D

Sreelakshmi said...

Go korya Go!!

archith said...

Yeah right. just wait till it conks out. and then you'll be left high and dry for servicemen. Real Indian cooking abhors the usage of electric cookers.

P.S. : Wonder whatever happened to the Rock and his Macho Stuff.

P.P.S: It isn't britanian cuisine, it's English cuisine. Show off fellow.

Arun said...

hahhaha.. they have replacement centre conks out, u can replace it. atleast thats what they told us

ok English Cuisine.. periya difference.. bottom line is Morphy Richards is expensive :P

Its a lonely journey for Men like us dude, we macho men need to hunt rice for 25 rs/kilo (rice is bloody expensive u know) and cook it ourself..

Nithya said...

On reading the title, I thought it would be an ode to my tomato rasam and cauliflower sabji :P.

Good one btw. LOL @ Britanian cuisine.

Sandy said...

Amazing tribute to ur electrifying bahu. 1 small caution though,in thick of things & emotion, dont ever kiss ur bahu when its hot. ull be cooked :)

Alifya said...

Koryo sounds more Korean than Chinese!!

Consuming so much rice , u ll see ur pot belly increase rather than otherwise.

With the abuse the 'bahu' is being put through, I wonder how long she ll be the solution to all problems!!:)

Ganesh Jeyaraman said...

Good man! Self-cooking can always be lots of fun, till the honeymoon period withers off :), and till you get slightly tired of the MTR rasam mixes, but yes, I used to survive with that one cooker and one tawa for almost 2 years when I was working.

Arun said...

@ Alifya --> Hey Smart Alec, Koryo sounds korean ofcourse, i was just following my poetic justice.. I have been eating rice all my life, and for most of it i have been thin only

@Ganesh Jayaraman --> So its only a honeymoon period? gosh, dont say that man! am already losing interest! :(

@Nithya --> Manni, Even Keats cant write a fitting ode to your rasam and cauliflower

@Sandy: I wont kiss my koryo, although it does strike a resemblance to the wimbledon trophy in fedrers hands when am holding it :-D

Vinay Sekhar said...

Humble suggestion - Get a cook! I still remember your Moru Kozhambhu which resembled Mootra Kozhambhu. Hope you are not the one cooking! Great Post dude!

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Machan, Brilliant writing!!


Arun said...

@ Vinay -- Dei that moothra kozhambu was the jealous vishnu cook who spoilt my broth..he poured more 'more' into the morekozhambu.. this is defamation i say.. baaaah baaah.. poi exam'ku padi da ulli

@ Jayanth -- Thanks for the compliment mr.celebrity blogger, neenga ellam encourage panaa dhaan enna maadhiri chinna pasanaga innum blog ezhutdhuvom

nice to see all you guys commenting!

lavanya said...

nice post mak..

trp thing--lol

but please dont stereotype bahu--along with the vessel u are abusing the fem fatale!!..hehe

but good one from mak's stables...
and ya hope u are not the one cooking..all messy u wud make the place!!

olive oyl said...

A tough night for sure. :D
great post!

Ajay Tripathi said...

What will in case of power cut?
Happy Diwali

Cleopatra said...

very cute...couldn't help smilimg thru... btw u can become my follower so to get an update on my blog pots :)

Arun said...

Thanks for visiting this blog
Olive Oyl, Ajay and Cleopatra ..
really appreciate ur going thro the blog and nice words..

will read all your blogs tomorrow and will keep giving my remarks!

Shek said...

Hey Dude,Koryo is very much an Indian brand,owned by Future Group itself.Your post reminds me of my house relocating experience in Pune last year.Koryo was the cheapest TV in Big Bazaar and it came with a free Dish TV set top box.The TV conked within one month of usage and the customer service was unreachable for a couple of days.Maybe you should consider yourself lucky.

Can't cook,can't hire a cook,can't spend on outside food? Go for breakfast cereals.There's no rule which says they must be eaten only for breakfast.You can eat them at night as well (like how I used to do),watching some serial.

At the same time,a PJ comes to mind.What do you call a dance master who buys Koryo gadgets?

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Deepti said...

LOL. Loved it!! :)

mirnalini said...

long live people like you...ticklish laughters... :P

Arun said...

Thanks Dipti and mrinalini!!!

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sony said...

Cute story...When 'Arun met Koryo'!!!flavour of pleasure...belief & much more...:)

Arun said...

@Sony he he .. hope you don't make a 5 year soap out of it in colors ;)

AS... said...

haha..that was cute!